Right now I feel like life is falling apart. Why is it that when life from the outside looks like its coming together, on the inside it still feels like things are crumbling. I know that God has it all in His mighty hands. I know the victory is already mine. Why does this battle seem so hard. Sometimes it feels like Im losing on all sides. As if every effort is in vain. I know that my labor is not in vain, cus thats what the word says. But how do I hold on to that when the peace that should come with that is not here. God I need your strength here. I dont know how to do what it is that Im supposed to do. Some of that is because I dont kow what to do . Im still searching for me. I still need to know who I am. There are some things about me that i dont understand. I try to throw reason to some things but that just doesnt seem to do it. I just dont know whats going on with me right now. I am hurting right now. I cant find me. I cant find you God. It feels like in all that I go through and battle that I cant find your peace. I know God, you are bigger than anything that I can ever face. All that I see is still under your subjection. I need to find you here. I am so missing you. You said that he who hungers and thirst for righteousness shall be filled. Lord I'm hungry, fill me......